Oh big brother...

William us getting so big. I remember when Karrina use to play in Kaileb's baby stuff. Kaileb still wants to sit in baby things but now he gets stuck...lol. It is nice to see that William is similar to my own babies.
The mom said that she is working hard to care for her 3 boys with her mother's help. I know she can do it but she is tired, only a couple more years of that :-) But she is very happy to have three healthy boys.
I have some incredibly news! A company contacted me to purchase my milk! They only work with surrogates that are not providing a baby with milk. I am in the qualifying process so we will see how it goes but, I am supper excited to help out little babies and have ongoing financial help. I will update.

A dat at the beach

I received pictures of our Chinese family today! They took William to the beach for the first time and he loved it!
I feel many things when I look at these pictures. First that I could of had a 2 year old running around but that was not God's plan. Then if I had not been their surrogate they would not have William on this trip and they would have very different lives. And lastly, I cannot believe that God used me to give them a baby, better yet, three babies! God is so awesome! I am so happy that He was able to use me to help this couple become a family. Through this, God also gave me great friends that have helped me to know what a good relationship should be. This has shown me how much God loves me even though I am not perfect I am still worth working on.

Bye bye

The parents and babies have gone home. But not before a mad dash of sewing and crocheting. I made this blanket for William when the parents were here in October. I wanted to make one for each of the babies before they went back to China but I had to be sitting up to set up all the squares to sew them together. I could not do that when I was on bedrest or recovering from my c-section. So theweek before they left I crocheted the squares together, added the border, sewed the backing on and embroyerd an A for Andrew on his blanket and a M for Michael on his blanket. It was a good thing the parents stayed an extra day so that I could finish the blankets. 

Karrina was also able to make a car seat blanket for Michael. It was her first time crocheting something and she did awesome! The parents were so excited that we made the blankets for the babies. The Mom always has three layers of clothes on the babies with two blankets on each one. A blanket is the best present for her! 

I am doing ok with them being gone. I was a mess the day they left but before they left the Mom and I huged. She told me that she loves me and so do her boys. I was still sad but I felt the pain and sadness lift off of my chest. God knew just how to sooth my heart and he gave her the words. God is so good I am leaning on him and I can see that He is here for me. They plan on buying a house near ours when we buy a house and visiting us once a year. I know that we will see them soon and more when the boys are older. Right now I am ready to jump back into my life and see the friends that I have not seen in months. 

A good talk

There is many things that I like about the parents being here but the best thing is the talks that I have with the Dad. We were talking tonight and he told me why he picked me to be their surrogate. He had 5 women to choose from and he read the Q&A from each. He said that my answers touched his heart because he thought I wanted to be a surrogate for the right reasons. He also said that when he saw our family picture my husband scared him a little....lol...because of his earrings and skull shirts. We had a great laugh because the Mom tells the Dad that he should be more like my husband. She thinks he is a great father and husband. It is nice that she sees how great my husband is but her husband is pretty great too.
We talked over the plans for their trip back to China. It is very sad for both of us to talk about them leaving. He tells me being here he almost forgets about his business life in China when he is here. The parents both like the slower life here in America. I hope that they one day have a house here and can stay as long as they want. Of course we love to visit them in China but it is very hard for the Dad to not think about work and enjoy our company when he is in China.
I wish I could have deep conversations with the Mom but I need to learn more chinese before that can happen. Right now we are able to tell each other what we need but we have to go through the Dad if we want to talk about anything more than that. It is ok though we still love each other and one day we will be able to have conversation.

A month old

It has been a month since the babies have been born. They are so cute and tiny still like little dolls. They have gained a pound and an inch each since they have been born. Since the babies are one month old today it is tradition to eat very long noodles with family for dinner. I am glad that we get to be apart of this tradition for the babies. With William they left just before he turn a month old.
I am recovering pretty good. My swelling is going down and I can now feel the staples that they put in me through my skin...icky! I know, but they should disintegrate soon. I normally do not get fevers but I have had a fever twice this week. Once I think was from a 24 hour flu and the other I think I had a blockage in a duct, it really hurt but is feeling much better now. Using a pump is much different than breast feeding because the pump does not suck exactly like a baby so it is easier to get a blockage. I hope I can keep the flow going.
The parents are doing well with taking care of both babies. The father takes night duty and the mom takes day duty. It is great to see them get to know their babies. Andrew looks just like their brother William and eats like him too. I did not realize when William was born how much he looked like his mom but Michael looks so much like his dad next to Andrew it is very pronounced. The twins are so different in many ways. Even though Michael looks like his dad he has his mother's appetite. He eats 2 oz while his brother, Andrew who is much more vocal about when he thinks he should be fed eats 3.5 oz. They are both great babies only fussing when they are hungry. I hope it stays that way after tomorrow when they get their circumcision...ekk!
It is so nice having the parents here. They help with dishes and laundry...the mom folded our laundry, gave it to me and it was still hot! I have never folded laundry that fast! They say that they don't cook but they have been cooking for us about every other night and it is delicious! Very different than Chinese food here in America. They say they don't cook at home but its not that they can't cook its that they have someone else who can do it like grandma or grandpa. It is so fun to share dishes with them from around the world, America is a smorgasbord of cultures. I am glad to eat all sorts of food no matter who cooks it :-)

Ups and downs

The babies are still is the hospital. They were doing so well we thought they would be home by now. They both got gas in their tummies so they had to stop eating and were put back on IV. Andrew is eating again and should be off IV today but Michael just started to eat again yesterday. They are still hovering around the 5 pound mark because of all this. The parents are hoping to bring Andrew home soon if everything goes well.
The parents have to take both babies to San Francisco to get the babies their passes to China and they have asked if I can go with them! We will only be there a day but it will be fun, I have only driven through San Francisco once. It is such a cute town with great architecture. I am so glad to be able to help them. I think traveling with two newborns is still daunting to them. This will be their trial run for the trip to China. Small compared to the 14 hour trip to China but I hope both go well.
I am into the 150's! Whoop, whoop! 159 lbs as of yesterday that is 10 pounds under my start weight! Keep it going!

Milk has come in

I pumped this morning and I got 11 oz. of milk! Glad my milk came in. I am doing well on my weight also. Today I am down to 164 lbs! That is 5 pounds under my start weight before I was pregnant. I just want to continue to eat small healthy meals so that I can be healthy. I will be glad when I can start exercising again but I always gain weight when I do. I think my body gains muscle faster than anything, it is loosing the fat that is my issue.
I am feeling so much better today. I put frankincense on last night again and I can actually move around without being in tons of pain and the swelling just keeps going down. I have even stopped taking my Motrin! I hope this keeps up, I was in a lot of pain the day before yesterday. I hate taking pills.

Stairs

Oh stairs, you are so daunting! I decide to try to climb the stairs yesterday to sleep in my own bed. It was not as bad as I thought it would be. Even going down was ok. I am glad to know I am able but I still do not want to go up or down them that often.
I stopped taking the pain meds the doc gave me, they were making me swell.  I would only take 2 or so a day and about 30 minutes after I could even feel my face swelling. Although I am still taking the Motrin. Also I am putting frankincense and Past Tense on my belly to help with swelling and pain. It has made a big difference! It still hurts when I move but I would rather hurt a little more than be swollen and feel weird all over.
I think I am healing ok. I feel my muscles tighten up which freaks me out a little and pains here and there even if I am not moving around. I hope I never have to have a c-section again! I was up walking around at Wal-Mart 2 days after I had my other babies naturaly. Big difference.

Home sweet home

I was released yesterday and it was perfect timing because the parents arrived just as I was released. We went right over to see the babies and they are doing great! They never needed oxygen and now are out of the warmers! They do still have an IV but are weaning off of it the more they eat.
I am so happy they are doing so well! They should be able to get out soon. We found out yesterday it is $7000 per day, per child for their care! It seems crazy to me since they are doing so well to be charging that much.
I was worried about my milk supply not coming in fast enough but it has steadily been growing and I am now pumping 5 oz every 3 hours. I need to keep it up because I know with two growing boys they will need to eat a lot. I am still sore and my belly is still numb but I am able to move a little better each day.

They are here!

Michael (on the left) was born first  on December at 10:07 am weighing 5 lbs and is 18 inches long. Andrew was born at 10:08 am also at 5 lbs but just a little shorter at 17 3/4 inches. The babies are being very good for the doctors at the hospital. They have not needed any oxygen and will try to eat from a bottle tomorrow. The only other thing they need to do to get released is keep their temp regular.
I am doing good I have taken my walk after the epidural wore off and I was finally able to eat. It was not much but I was good since I have not eaten all day. Now it is time to rest.

Hospital stay

So I am not going home until after I deliver these two little boys. I am 6 cm dilated and the contractions are not stopping. I am on magnesium which is not too bad but not fun either. I want to keep these boys in as long as possible I just don't think they are willing to stay.
I talked to the parents and they are upset they will not be here but trust me to do the best for their babies. I am sad that they will not be here for the birth too. I would not want to miss the birth of my child for anything. They are changing their flight so they can come to LV this week.
I am praying that these boy's lungs are developed enough to not be in the NICU. There is no room in the NICU at this hospital so if they need to go they have to be transfered. I wish I knew that before I came in I would of gone to the other hospital. I feel better if we all stay together.
I was checked an hour and a half ago and there is still no word on when or who will do my surgery. My doctor is out of town until Monday and her associate seems like he does not want to do the surgery. That's ok I don't like him n-e-ways but I do need to have the babies before my water breaks. Baby A is still breach and last time we checked both babies had their cords by my cervix which is not good. I came to terms with having a c-section but I am nervous now that my doctor is not going to do the surgery. I know God will take care of me and the babies and I just need to rest in his peace.

9 contractions in an hour!

Tonight I have had the most contractions thus far, 9 in an hour! I have a monitor system that tracks my contractions for an hour and sends it to a nurse to evaluate me. The nurse is calling my doctor to see what they want me to do. I think I am at my max for meds to be taken at home. The next step is going into the hospital and going magnesium.....she just called back. Doc wants me to go into the hospital.

Wiped out

The past two days have been full of contractions and medication. One pill brings my blood pressure down and the other makes my heart race but together they lighten my contractions. It is taking a toll on me to be on these medications and I felt it today. I slept most of the day but it is at night I wish I could just fall asleep but it is hard when you heart is pounding. Just a couple more weeks please!

32 weeks 5 days

I had an appointment today with an ultrasound. I am 1 cm dilated which is not too big of deal because many women are dilated 1cm at this point and go to 40 weeks. I don't think I will make it to 40 weeks but it gives me some level of comfort. I opted to take the steroids to help the babies lungs ans eyes develop if they come early. Baby A is still breach...that little stinker. Both babies have their cords down by my cervix. That is very bad for natural birth so my doctor said we will have to go with a c-section if everything stays the same. I have come to terms with having a c-section from talking to everyone I can about how their c-section went. I know everyone is different but I have found comfort in hearing how theirs went.
They measured the babies, baby A is 4lbs 11oz and baby B is 4lbs 15 oz, about 5lbs each. This is just an estimate but I feel it is a pretty good one. They have each gained 1lb in two weeks which is normal. I am hoping to have them after Christmas and both weight about 6lbs 8oz. I am kinda excited at the possibility of having the babies on the 27th. I have two nephews born December 27th and how cool would it be to have these babies on the same day! They won't be my baby's but I will never forget their birthday and I get to share a special day with my sisters in law. :-)
As I was driving to my doctors appointment it hit me. I could possibly be in the hospital for Christmas! I almost burst into tears but I decided to hold it in because I did not want to scare my kids by blubbering for no apparent reason. I don't know what I will do if I have to be in the hospital for Christmas but I will know I will be very sad. The days just keep going by so I hope I make it until after Christmas.

If you have a c-section story I would love to hear about it. Post it in the comments.

Red...purple!

I was taking a shower and my legs started to feel weird, a weak tingling feeling. So I looked down and my legs were bright red with purple veins running down them! I freaked! I got out of the shower as fast as I could to go lay down. My legs went right back to their normal whiteness quickly and I was ecstatic! I monitored just to be sure that the leg issue did not cause any contractions. I was fine only 4 contractions that hour (that's low for me at this point.).
This weekend was ruff with 2 monitoring at 8 contractions in an hour. I am now on double the medications that I was on before and it is not all fun. Sleeping seams to be evading me even when I use my lavender oil, I feel like my body is quivering and weak. No fun stuff.
I am going to try to do some leg exercises to help strengthen my legs and blood vessels. I can't do anything like squats, which is my go to exercise for legs. Even side leg lifts cause a contraction. So, I am left with laying on my side squeezing my calfs by lifting my foot up and down. It feels good to move my legs and feel the strength in them again. I am very careful to make sure my stomach is relaxed as I "workout." It is more important for me not to be contracting than to exercise. I hope it helps.

Bedrest

It has been a long journey this pregnancy with more complications than I would of liked. The first transfer dis not work so we tried again and they decide to put in 2 embryos. Low and behold I am pregnant with twins!
The first trimester was uneventful but the second was full of twists and turns. At the beginning of the second trimester I had a massive bleeding episode because a piece of placenta ripped away from my uterus. That was the scariest thing I have ever encountered. I bled for 45 mins straight! It took 3 weeks to fully stop but I was so glad it did. I was on bedrest for the 3 weeks plus a couple extra to just be sure everything was ok. At the end of the second trimester I has an ultrasound to check my cervix and it was just over 1 cm shortened. Your cervix shortens then opens, I should of been over 3 cm at that point. So it was back on bedrest for me.
I am now 32 weeks and still on bedrest. It did not bother me at first because I am always going it was nice to just relax. Now I am so tired of asking everyone to do everything for me. I just want to get up and do it myself. I am also very lonely. I am a very social person and I miss people! My husband has been taking our kids to all their events, which is great but I end up being alone for long periods of time. I can't wait to get back to my normal routine of being with my family all day.
I hope to keep these boys in until 36 weeks at least so they can develop well and their parents can get here. The parents should be here just after Christmas. I am glad they are spending Christmas with their first son before they come here for over a month. They are going to stay with us again for a month after the babies are born so I can pump for them. Just a little boost before they go back to China.

Little Baby Embryo

I hope this little baby embryo gets a helping hand from God,
Their big brother did and he brought great joy to there Mom & Dad,
I would be so privileged to help you come into this world,
I may not get to see you every day but I know you are special in so many ways,
You will bring great joy and have the love to do great things,
You are a blessing God has to ordain and I will be soooooo delighted if he chooses for you to stay.

I find out tomorrow!

Time for the transfer!

We made it to NYC  after a layover in DC and now we are waiting to go up stairs. I slept most of the way on the first plane but it was so hard to wake up! I am glad that I had a little nap before we left. I am going to

Control...

I like control. To be in control of my house, life, daily decisions, and so on. But with the surrogacy I have to let others be in control. I can't make my own flight plans, dictate when I will do the transfer, what meds I will take...and SO much more. God has shown me through this process to let go of the control I want to have over every thing in my life and let him lead me. When I let God lead the way I feel more at peace than ever before and it all works out so much better.
 I am not my own, I am his.

Sore or unusable?

Ok so yesterday's stick was not as bad as I thought it would be. Although throughout the day my leg hurt more and more and formed a bruise. Now I am not sure if I should stick the other leg or stay with the same leg and just baby it. Ugh! It would be so much better if I just took the pill only like last time.
Time to go stab myself.

First shot!

Very nervous about taking my first progesterone shot. I have had friends take this and could not walk because it hurt so bad! Here I go

Time for the meds!

I normally do not mind taking meds but I have to stick myself! I have had several friends that have taken this medicine and it hurts! Not looking forward to this :-(
On the good side of things I will have the transfer next Monday the 16th! Finally! I feel like this has taken so long. I pray that the little embryo will take and William can soon have a little brother or sister. The mom want a little girl but are happy with either. So think pink!

Chinese New Year

The parents came to spend Chinese New Year with us. This showed me yet again how much they really love our family. In China all the people go home to spend time with their family for the New Year and they came to see us. They did not bring William with them this time :-( It is ok because we are going to China in February! They offered for us to take a tour of China but we miss them so much that we would rather stay with them for the ten days that we are there. They are already planing to come to America every year to see us and want to take us to Japan on another vacation! It will be nice to have travel buddies :-) on this trip we will go to Shanghai, Honzou, then up to Beijing to see the great wall. It should be a great trip with lots of new experiences. I am nervous to go to another country because of illnesses, strict laws, and the what ifs but I find great comfort in God. God has blessed this journey from the beginning and I have faith that he will be with us in our travels.
I was so excited that the parents were coming I cleaned and organized my entire house. Now I just have to make sure it stays organized. They like our new house much better than our old house and so do I. I am looking forward to owning our own house one day soon, I hope. We will be one step closer to owning our own home this March when we start the process to have another baby for them! I am very glad we can help the same family as we did before because we have such a great connection. There is not a day that goes by that we do not think of their family and I think it is the same for them. They are so greatful and humble and I feel so greatful to them, and hope I am humble too, it is just so nice that we both think of each other so much. I really love them so much that I cannot even explain.

4 months old

3 months old!

Just having fun

Whe the parents were here we went to Motherhood to get some nursing shirts and had some fun with the fake baby belly.

She looks so cute pregnant :-)

Made in America on the front and the tag says Made in China!

This is the funnest thing I have seen! It was the perfect shirt for William.

My hubby saw it and we had to get it for him!

He is soooooooooo Cute!!!

I was so happy so get some pictures of William today! He is so big! 22 inches long and 13.6 pounds. I was so surprised to see all his hair gone but he is just so cute! The Dad says that in China they cut all the hair off of the babies to that the hair will grow back thicker. I am so glad he is doing so good.
I just cannot stop smiling! I want to just kiss his little face.

What to do?

 Now that the surrogacy is over and the family is on there way home I do not know what to do with the milk I am producing. I was pumping for William while they were here. I want to keep pumping to help my body get back to normal. It is working so far.
 I have a couple of options: Use the milk for my family, donate my milk to a hospital, sell it, or dump it. I feel like dumping it is a wast and I hate wasting. Having my family drink it grosses a lot of people out but if they like it why not..lol. I would not mind donating my milk but the hospitals pasteurize it which kills a lot of good stuff in it and then charges over $3.50 per oz!!! Crazy!! I think the best thing to do is sell it directly to some one who needs it for way cheaper.
  I have been looking online for some one to sell my milk to. I have found crazy ads for all kinds of people who are looking for breast milk. I know it is only milk and I will probably never see them but I do not want some weirdo using my milk to get off! I want to make sure a baby who need it gets it. Through the ad I have found a Mother who is having quads that wants her babies to have breast milk.
 Well, she is not having them, their Surrogate is!!! I thought it was so funny when she told me. We had a great talk about both of our surrogacy journey. It was so nice to talk to her. This is the second time they have done surrogacy with the same Surrogate. They had 4 embryos left after their first surrogacy and the Doctor told them that 2 were not viable but they decided to put all four in. Well they all implanted and now the Surrogate has been on bed rest since she was 24 weeks! They are just trying to keep them in.
 I am glad I was able to find her so quickly. Finding someone to help so quickly has helped me to not be depressed. I am able to help this other family out with a blessing God has given me. I am so glad that he has put her in my life. Another thing is that she is not a Christian so I have another chance to let God work through me.Yippy! The lady I found to take my milk is happy she found me because the milk I am producing has more of  a fat content because I delivered more recently. This is better for her babies because younger babies need the extra fat to help them gain weight.
 If everything works out then I will pump for them for at least 6 months. In that time I hope to lose a total of 20 lbs, 10 lbs at a time. Since I have gotten back to my pre-baby weight I would like to go past it. I know I will have to do more than pump but I think pumping will help a lot. Another thing I want to start doing is walking. It will be good for our whole family to stay connected and workout.

Leaving to start their journey home

 On Wednesday the family left to California. They have to get the baby's passport in LA and then onto San Francisco to get his Visa. They have to return to LA for their flight back to China. If everything goes well they will be home by May 7th a day before the baby's one month birthday.
 Wednesday I was a mess! The Mom and I cried together like three times before they left. I was and am so sad to see them leave. I want to keep them here with us all the time but they need to go back to their own home. I have been so blessed because I was able to help them learn to take care of their little for almost 3 weeks. I got to watch them love him and experience all the new thing he did. I was able to be there for a lot of his firsts and even his first Easter. I had a wonderful time sharing with the parent how to and why we celebrate Easter from Jesus dieing on the cross to the bunny coming to fill the baskets. They told me that last year they were in New York taking the Mom's eggs out during Easter. That is awesome that it was one year later they were able to celebrate their baby. I feel so blessed to be apart of their lives.
  After we said our goodbyes my daughter and I cried together on the couch. My husband, who was being very understanding and missing the family too, decided that it would be great for us to do something fun to get our mind off of the situation. We went bowling at the bowling alley that his Mom works at. When we got there I was reading all the encouraging things that people were saying to me on Facebook and I just started balling! I thought I had enough control of myself to say hi to a friend but as soon as she asked me how I was I started up again. I do not mind crying in front of people or telling them why I am upset but I think that people do not understand why I am crying. I was crying because the family that lived with us, sharing everything with us, who loves our children just as much as we do, and we love their child just and much as they do, left. I do not think that I have ever connected to someone the way I connected to this family. But it is not just me! My hubby and kids also connected with them. It is amazing that my hubby connected with them because he does not connect with anyone! Well outside of our family. I love the Family and am I sad that when I wake up I will not be able to see them....it is a selfish reason but that is how I feel. I miss them.
  It has been two days and I still miss them but I am not crying all the time. I am looking forward to seeing my friends here again and getting back to our normal events.

3 weeks later

It has been 3 weeks since I gave birth to a special little boy. I am two pounds from my pre-baby weight! I cannot believe that I am going down so fast! I am sure it is because I get a full night sleep. I cannot wait to see what will happen when I get back to my normal schedule.

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Good Bye?....No, see you soon

 Tonight we had our last dinner together. The kids each made cards for the Family with pictures of them on it and Karrina even wrote in Chinese on hers. Wow, this is even hard to write....we already miss them so much! Kaileb was talk to the parents today and told them he wants them to live here for their whole life! They loved it! Karrina already had her crying episode yesterday over them leaving. Today she was better with it. She even told Kaileb what I said to her, "William needs to go to China to see his Grammy." What is funny is that The parents feel the same way about leaving as we do. The Dad said that they feel apart of our family and he likes the American way. It will be hard for him to get back to work when he gets back home. This has been the longest Holiday in his life!
 I have had a couple great friends move away in the last year and I was able to wait until they left before I broke down, but not this time. The Dad came to me to thank me again for helping his family and I just started balling! I was able to get control of my self but the first time I saw the Mom I started crying again and just hugged her for so long! I know we will see them again and it will be so fun to travel to China to see them there. They have also said that they will come visit us every year which will be wonderful!!! I am just so sad to see them go but I did know that this was coming and thought I had prepared myself better. Our families just get along so well it is hard to think of us being apart.    

First Photo shoot

At the Docs

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  The baby did great! He had to have his PKU test so we also had extra blood drawn to see how his jaundice  is doing. When they took his blood he cried a little but most of the time he slept! I have never seen a baby sleep through nurses taking their blood. The nurses were so nice to him. It was a wonderful change from the Lab Tech last time. At the end of the draw the nurse said that he was cloting and they would have to stick him again. The Dad said "We quit", LOL!!! I told the nurse they would have to do the test with what the have. They did had enough blood to do the test. The baby's levels have gone down to 10, which is really good! 

 Before we left the appointment I asked the parents if they still wanted to do the circumcision. They said they have decided not to do the circumcision. I think that is best for them. They really did not do good with him crying. I do not think they could handle the way my son cried after his circumcision. I could barely handle it. The doctor that did my son's is not at that doctors office any more but he screamed so loud right after it was over. I was devastated. All I could think of was what had I done to my son! He turned out fine and if I have another son I will get him circumcised. I will make sure they use more pain meds.  

A deeper level

 Tonight I made Kahlua pork for the parents and they LOVED IT!! They said it was just like what they cook in China and it was the best meal they have had in two weeks! I was so happy! Cooking for others is something I love to do and I am so glad that I was able to make them something that made them feel at home. The Dad said that he is planing to make us a real Chinese meal. I cannot wait! 

 After dinner the Dad and I had a great talk about the Bible, China, his life, and more. It is so funny to me how alike we are even though we are from such different places. We will talk about our cultures but then we will say but I do not do that or believe that. I love that we are able so share with each other even though we are so different. He also invited us to come to China! He said that the best time for us to come is during Chinese New Year because his business is closed for the holiday and he will have more time to spend with us. It would be so awesome to go see them in China! To see how the baby is doing in his home with his wonderful parents would be such a great gift for me. I hope that we will be able to always stay close since we have shared such a wonderful journey together.   

Do I love this little baby?

 I have been asked many questions about surrogacy and I do not mind any of them. The biggest one was, will I or do I love the baby? Well I have to say definitely YES!

 The baby has jaundice and the Doctor ordered a blood test. I asked the Doctor before we left how he wanted the blood taken. He said it was always taken in the arm. When we went to the lab the tech was setting her stuff up and I noticed she had a needle to poke his foot. I told her that the Doctor said to take the blood from the arm. She argued with me saying that they always take it from the foot. I asked her nicely to call the Doctor and see how he wanted it taken and she spitefully picked up the needle and stabbed him!!!! I was freaking out inside!!! I tried to stay calm on the outside for the Parents and the interpreter but I was so upset! I know I love that little baby because I was so angry. The baby cried the entire time (about 2 minutes). I know that is not that long but his Mother and Father have been waiting 15 years for this little baby and now he is being tortured for no reason! The arm stick would of been quicker and less painful for Mom and baby.

 We got the test back and his billiruben level was a 16, that is high. The Doctor wanted the test taken again the next day but now the Mom would not let him go through that again. That made me feel even more protective and angry about what happened the day before. I was so upset inside I went back down to the lab to complain to the Manager. I told her the whole story and she could not even believe what she did. The Lab tech will be written up so I was pacified but still very upset.

 The Parents are doing the treatment to get rid of the jaundice they just want to wait to see if he gets better before they stick the baby again. I understand and it is their choice because it is their baby. I just wish that tech would of listened to me and we would not of had this problem.

  I knew I would love the baby that I carried for 38 weeks but I also knew I would able to let him go with his parents. I not only love the baby but I also love the parents. This time we have together has been wonderful we have been able to talk and learn about each other and our cultures. God has really blessed me by showing me over and over how well the parents are and will take care of their new little baby. I am so glad that I was able to do this for them!

Feeling so blessed!

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 First doctors appointment!!!

All ready

Off we go!

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Intence stand off

Baby's first diaper change! They were so cute making sure he was carefuly cleaned and put together right they did not notice the blanket covering his face! LOL He was fine and did not even cry. It was too funny because as parents we can be so focused on doing one thing right we do not even see the real danger our children are in. It is good to look at the big picture. I would say their first day as parents was a success :-)

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1 day old!!!

William is doing great! He has gained 2 oz since his birth putting him at 8 lb 1oz. He did great last night waking up about every 2 hours but he did extend it to 4 hours once.   He is a very quiet baby and is already smiling. He looks so cute when he looks around at this new world he is in.

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She is such a wonderful Mother

Mommy just learned two ways to burp her new little bundle.

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Happy, warm, and in Mommy's arms

He has had his bath, been fed...3 times, but has not gone to the bathroom yet but at least he is dry :-)

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17 years in the making

They have been waiting since they were married 17 years ago for a little baby. Today they became not just husband and wife but a family. I am so blessed to be apart of their journey.

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Mommy with her beautiful son <3

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Big Boy!

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William is here!!!

He was born at 9:42 am weighing in at 7 lb 15 oz and 19 in long!

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 What a wild ride!! I was able to go through the birth with no epidural. It was not too bad. I did the hypnobirthing class which taught me to meditate and breath through the contractions. It helped but it still did hurt when he came out. Oh No I said the "H" word...hurt, the Hypnobirthing people are going to get me...lol. I had told my Doctor that I did not want any one to talk about pain or hurting in my birth plan so when she got there she had forgotten about it. One of the first things she said was, "How is your pain?" I laughed and reminded her and she was very apologetic and made sure the nurses knew not to say hurt or pain. I have to tell you I really did not care at that point but I did get a good laugh out of it so It was worth it. 

 The Doctor popped my bag at 8:15 am and asked me if I wanted her to stay at the hospital or if she could go to her office. With both of my children after my bag was popped I had them within the hour. I thought it was better if she stayed. After an hour I was not ready to deliver yet. I am sure that it was because of the way I was sitting. I was not very comfortable sitting up in the hospital bed. I wanted to walk around but that is a no, no in the hospital after you bag is broken. The Doctor asked me if I wanted to have her check me again and I really did not want her to. When she checked me it hurt! the baby was pushed back up in to my ribs and I was not happy. It was very intence but I was staying relaxed. I did let her check me and she said that I only had one little bit left and she pushed it over..not sure what "it" was but it worked!

 The Doctor walked out of the room and not even a minute later I was ready to push. The nurse was right next to me and started yelling get the Doctor in here! The baby already had started crowning and I was trying not to push because I wanted to breath him down so I did not tare. Well that did not work! All the nurses were yelling "don't push don't push" because the Doctor did not even have her gloves on! Then when she got in position one of the nurses stared to tell me to "push, push, push" and my Doctor looks at her and said, "she is doing fine" I wanted to laugh so bad but I was too busy. He came barreling out after 3 pushes. He came out so fast his entire face and eyes were bruised. I really tried to slow him down but it did not work. I ended up taring in 2 spots :-( I swear that the worst part of the birth was when I was spread eagle being sew up by the Doctor. Over all it was not too bad I went into the hospital at 11:30 pm Thursday and he was born Friday at 9:45 am (after a 4 hour nap). I do not know how long his labor was because I had been having contractions since I was was 35 weeks. 

 I had the Doctor make sure that the Mom was the first to hold the baby, I felt that was very important. When the nurse was doing what she needed to do the Mom came back over to me to thank me, she was crying! I was so happy for them! I had such a wonderful time watching the parents hold and love on the baby that day. That was my gift, to be able to watch them bond and love their little boy I was able to carry for them.    

Will it be today?

37 weeks 4 days

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3 cm Dilated!!! Yippy!!!

We went to the Doctor today and I am 3 cm dilated!!! We are so excited!!!! After the appointment the Mother said to me, "Thank you so much. I have waited so long to see my son." She started to cry... I know that this has been such a long process for the parents. I am so glad that I am doing this for them! I cannot wait to see the parents hold the baby!!! That is going to be the best part of this entire journey. I am 37weeks and 4 days today so having the baby now would be fine.
At the Doctors appointment I talked to the Doctor about my "birth plan". The look on her face when I said "birth plan" was priceless! It was a mixture of oh great and panic. My "birth plan" has six things on it so the Doctor was very pleased that I did not have tons of demands. She agreed to all of them except one. I did not want to be given pitocin after the birth if I did not have it before the birth. The Doctor explained to me that she is more comfortable with me having the pitocin after the birth so that I do not bleed out. At the birth class they said that the shot of pitocin is better than the bag but the Doctor said they the same strength. I will have an IV so I would rather have it in the bag then the nurse give me a shot in my leg that will hurt. I am really ok with what the Doctor wants to do, I trust her knowledge and experience. I still want to have a personal experience and I think I will. 

Am I on a roller coaster!?!

 I have done all my Hypnobirthing classes and I started listening to the CD that come with the program to help you relax. I know my hormones can be out of whack right now but twice this week all I wanted to do was cry all day and the other days I was so irritated about everything! I could see myself being upset but had no clue why I was feeling that way. I figured out it was the Hypnobirthing CD I had been listening to at night. No way right?!? On the CD the lady repeats over and over "your baby" and this is not my baby! A couple of times people have said to me that this is my baby and I remember getting upset because it is NOT! We are not genetically related. I am just baby sitting. I know what and why I am doing surrogacy and I want to give this little baby back to the parents with all my heart. I think the reason it upsets me so much is because some people do not understand that this what I am meant to do. I have stopped listening to the tapes and will have to find another relaxation CD to use. I have felt so much better since.  
 Other than that craziness I have been taking it easy. Thanks to my Mom2Mom group, friends, and family I have not made a full meal since I was first put on bed rest. I have warmed stuff up but I have not had to stand and make a meal. Another great thing about not cooking is not having to do DISHES!!! Yippy! I love cooking but dishes are my enemy! I am so thankful that I have been able to me on "light duty" as a Mom and still have my kids do mostly everything they normally do.
THANK YOU!!!! I appreciate all the support :-) 

They are here!!!

The parents are here! We had a great day. The Dad and I went to the birthing class this morning. The Mom was tired so she stayed in bed. It was great to have him there because I was able to tell him how important it is for them to hold and talk to the baby.
I found out that the Dad has been praticing his English so we are able to talk without a translator :-) It worried me when he was going to be our translator because I was not sure if he could understand everything but he did great! There was only one time that we had to look up a word to find the meaning in Chinese.
We talked about the baby's name today....the English name will be William! I could not believe it when they told me. My father's name is is William, my brother's name is William, and my son's middle name is William! For them to choose that name is crazy! That is all God. The reason they picked that name is because it means protector the same reason I choose it. Just another thing to show me that this was the right thing to do.

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My IV booboo

When the nurse put in my IV it felt like she was tearing my skin apart and this is the result.

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Bed rest :-(

 I went to the hospital again to be checked. My contractions were 6 min apart and getting stronger. I am still about the same 2cm dilated and 50% effaced which is good that I have not changed.
  The nurse was funny. She joked the entire time which was good to keep my mind away from the contractions. The Doctor ordered two more terbutaline shots, two bags of IV, nifedipine every 6 hours (it stops contractions), and for me to be on completed bed rest until I am 36 weeks. At least it is only a week. When the nurse put in my IV it felt like she was ripping through my skin!!! It hurt so bad! I hope all this works to keep this little guy in. 

35 weeks

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