Leaving to start their journey home

 On Wednesday the family left to California. They have to get the baby's passport in LA and then onto San Francisco to get his Visa. They have to return to LA for their flight back to China. If everything goes well they will be home by May 7th a day before the baby's one month birthday.
 Wednesday I was a mess! The Mom and I cried together like three times before they left. I was and am so sad to see them leave. I want to keep them here with us all the time but they need to go back to their own home. I have been so blessed because I was able to help them learn to take care of their little for almost 3 weeks. I got to watch them love him and experience all the new thing he did. I was able to be there for a lot of his firsts and even his first Easter. I had a wonderful time sharing with the parent how to and why we celebrate Easter from Jesus dieing on the cross to the bunny coming to fill the baskets. They told me that last year they were in New York taking the Mom's eggs out during Easter. That is awesome that it was one year later they were able to celebrate their baby. I feel so blessed to be apart of their lives.
  After we said our goodbyes my daughter and I cried together on the couch. My husband, who was being very understanding and missing the family too, decided that it would be great for us to do something fun to get our mind off of the situation. We went bowling at the bowling alley that his Mom works at. When we got there I was reading all the encouraging things that people were saying to me on Facebook and I just started balling! I thought I had enough control of myself to say hi to a friend but as soon as she asked me how I was I started up again. I do not mind crying in front of people or telling them why I am upset but I think that people do not understand why I am crying. I was crying because the family that lived with us, sharing everything with us, who loves our children just as much as we do, and we love their child just and much as they do, left. I do not think that I have ever connected to someone the way I connected to this family. But it is not just me! My hubby and kids also connected with them. It is amazing that my hubby connected with them because he does not connect with anyone! Well outside of our family. I love the Family and am I sad that when I wake up I will not be able to see them....it is a selfish reason but that is how I feel. I miss them.
  It has been two days and I still miss them but I am not crying all the time. I am looking forward to seeing my friends here again and getting back to our normal events.

3 weeks later

It has been 3 weeks since I gave birth to a special little boy. I am two pounds from my pre-baby weight! I cannot believe that I am going down so fast! I am sure it is because I get a full night sleep. I cannot wait to see what will happen when I get back to my normal schedule.

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Good Bye?....No, see you soon

 Tonight we had our last dinner together. The kids each made cards for the Family with pictures of them on it and Karrina even wrote in Chinese on hers. Wow, this is even hard to write....we already miss them so much! Kaileb was talk to the parents today and told them he wants them to live here for their whole life! They loved it! Karrina already had her crying episode yesterday over them leaving. Today she was better with it. She even told Kaileb what I said to her, "William needs to go to China to see his Grammy." What is funny is that The parents feel the same way about leaving as we do. The Dad said that they feel apart of our family and he likes the American way. It will be hard for him to get back to work when he gets back home. This has been the longest Holiday in his life!
 I have had a couple great friends move away in the last year and I was able to wait until they left before I broke down, but not this time. The Dad came to me to thank me again for helping his family and I just started balling! I was able to get control of my self but the first time I saw the Mom I started crying again and just hugged her for so long! I know we will see them again and it will be so fun to travel to China to see them there. They have also said that they will come visit us every year which will be wonderful!!! I am just so sad to see them go but I did know that this was coming and thought I had prepared myself better. Our families just get along so well it is hard to think of us being apart.    

First Photo shoot

At the Docs

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  The baby did great! He had to have his PKU test so we also had extra blood drawn to see how his jaundice  is doing. When they took his blood he cried a little but most of the time he slept! I have never seen a baby sleep through nurses taking their blood. The nurses were so nice to him. It was a wonderful change from the Lab Tech last time. At the end of the draw the nurse said that he was cloting and they would have to stick him again. The Dad said "We quit", LOL!!! I told the nurse they would have to do the test with what the have. They did had enough blood to do the test. The baby's levels have gone down to 10, which is really good! 

 Before we left the appointment I asked the parents if they still wanted to do the circumcision. They said they have decided not to do the circumcision. I think that is best for them. They really did not do good with him crying. I do not think they could handle the way my son cried after his circumcision. I could barely handle it. The doctor that did my son's is not at that doctors office any more but he screamed so loud right after it was over. I was devastated. All I could think of was what had I done to my son! He turned out fine and if I have another son I will get him circumcised. I will make sure they use more pain meds.  

A deeper level

 Tonight I made Kahlua pork for the parents and they LOVED IT!! They said it was just like what they cook in China and it was the best meal they have had in two weeks! I was so happy! Cooking for others is something I love to do and I am so glad that I was able to make them something that made them feel at home. The Dad said that he is planing to make us a real Chinese meal. I cannot wait! 

 After dinner the Dad and I had a great talk about the Bible, China, his life, and more. It is so funny to me how alike we are even though we are from such different places. We will talk about our cultures but then we will say but I do not do that or believe that. I love that we are able so share with each other even though we are so different. He also invited us to come to China! He said that the best time for us to come is during Chinese New Year because his business is closed for the holiday and he will have more time to spend with us. It would be so awesome to go see them in China! To see how the baby is doing in his home with his wonderful parents would be such a great gift for me. I hope that we will be able to always stay close since we have shared such a wonderful journey together.   

Do I love this little baby?

 I have been asked many questions about surrogacy and I do not mind any of them. The biggest one was, will I or do I love the baby? Well I have to say definitely YES!

 The baby has jaundice and the Doctor ordered a blood test. I asked the Doctor before we left how he wanted the blood taken. He said it was always taken in the arm. When we went to the lab the tech was setting her stuff up and I noticed she had a needle to poke his foot. I told her that the Doctor said to take the blood from the arm. She argued with me saying that they always take it from the foot. I asked her nicely to call the Doctor and see how he wanted it taken and she spitefully picked up the needle and stabbed him!!!! I was freaking out inside!!! I tried to stay calm on the outside for the Parents and the interpreter but I was so upset! I know I love that little baby because I was so angry. The baby cried the entire time (about 2 minutes). I know that is not that long but his Mother and Father have been waiting 15 years for this little baby and now he is being tortured for no reason! The arm stick would of been quicker and less painful for Mom and baby.

 We got the test back and his billiruben level was a 16, that is high. The Doctor wanted the test taken again the next day but now the Mom would not let him go through that again. That made me feel even more protective and angry about what happened the day before. I was so upset inside I went back down to the lab to complain to the Manager. I told her the whole story and she could not even believe what she did. The Lab tech will be written up so I was pacified but still very upset.

 The Parents are doing the treatment to get rid of the jaundice they just want to wait to see if he gets better before they stick the baby again. I understand and it is their choice because it is their baby. I just wish that tech would of listened to me and we would not of had this problem.

  I knew I would love the baby that I carried for 38 weeks but I also knew I would able to let him go with his parents. I not only love the baby but I also love the parents. This time we have together has been wonderful we have been able to talk and learn about each other and our cultures. God has really blessed me by showing me over and over how well the parents are and will take care of their new little baby. I am so glad that I was able to do this for them!

Feeling so blessed!

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 First doctors appointment!!!

All ready

Off we go!

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Intence stand off

Baby's first diaper change! They were so cute making sure he was carefuly cleaned and put together right they did not notice the blanket covering his face! LOL He was fine and did not even cry. It was too funny because as parents we can be so focused on doing one thing right we do not even see the real danger our children are in. It is good to look at the big picture. I would say their first day as parents was a success :-)

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1 day old!!!

William is doing great! He has gained 2 oz since his birth putting him at 8 lb 1oz. He did great last night waking up about every 2 hours but he did extend it to 4 hours once.   He is a very quiet baby and is already smiling. He looks so cute when he looks around at this new world he is in.

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She is such a wonderful Mother

Mommy just learned two ways to burp her new little bundle.

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Happy, warm, and in Mommy's arms

He has had his bath, been fed...3 times, but has not gone to the bathroom yet but at least he is dry :-)

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17 years in the making

They have been waiting since they were married 17 years ago for a little baby. Today they became not just husband and wife but a family. I am so blessed to be apart of their journey.

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Mommy with her beautiful son <3

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Big Boy!

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William is here!!!

He was born at 9:42 am weighing in at 7 lb 15 oz and 19 in long!

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 What a wild ride!! I was able to go through the birth with no epidural. It was not too bad. I did the hypnobirthing class which taught me to meditate and breath through the contractions. It helped but it still did hurt when he came out. Oh No I said the "H" word...hurt, the Hypnobirthing people are going to get me...lol. I had told my Doctor that I did not want any one to talk about pain or hurting in my birth plan so when she got there she had forgotten about it. One of the first things she said was, "How is your pain?" I laughed and reminded her and she was very apologetic and made sure the nurses knew not to say hurt or pain. I have to tell you I really did not care at that point but I did get a good laugh out of it so It was worth it. 

 The Doctor popped my bag at 8:15 am and asked me if I wanted her to stay at the hospital or if she could go to her office. With both of my children after my bag was popped I had them within the hour. I thought it was better if she stayed. After an hour I was not ready to deliver yet. I am sure that it was because of the way I was sitting. I was not very comfortable sitting up in the hospital bed. I wanted to walk around but that is a no, no in the hospital after you bag is broken. The Doctor asked me if I wanted to have her check me again and I really did not want her to. When she checked me it hurt! the baby was pushed back up in to my ribs and I was not happy. It was very intence but I was staying relaxed. I did let her check me and she said that I only had one little bit left and she pushed it over..not sure what "it" was but it worked!

 The Doctor walked out of the room and not even a minute later I was ready to push. The nurse was right next to me and started yelling get the Doctor in here! The baby already had started crowning and I was trying not to push because I wanted to breath him down so I did not tare. Well that did not work! All the nurses were yelling "don't push don't push" because the Doctor did not even have her gloves on! Then when she got in position one of the nurses stared to tell me to "push, push, push" and my Doctor looks at her and said, "she is doing fine" I wanted to laugh so bad but I was too busy. He came barreling out after 3 pushes. He came out so fast his entire face and eyes were bruised. I really tried to slow him down but it did not work. I ended up taring in 2 spots :-( I swear that the worst part of the birth was when I was spread eagle being sew up by the Doctor. Over all it was not too bad I went into the hospital at 11:30 pm Thursday and he was born Friday at 9:45 am (after a 4 hour nap). I do not know how long his labor was because I had been having contractions since I was was 35 weeks. 

 I had the Doctor make sure that the Mom was the first to hold the baby, I felt that was very important. When the nurse was doing what she needed to do the Mom came back over to me to thank me, she was crying! I was so happy for them! I had such a wonderful time watching the parents hold and love on the baby that day. That was my gift, to be able to watch them bond and love their little boy I was able to carry for them.    

Will it be today?

37 weeks 4 days

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3 cm Dilated!!! Yippy!!!

We went to the Doctor today and I am 3 cm dilated!!! We are so excited!!!! After the appointment the Mother said to me, "Thank you so much. I have waited so long to see my son." She started to cry... I know that this has been such a long process for the parents. I am so glad that I am doing this for them! I cannot wait to see the parents hold the baby!!! That is going to be the best part of this entire journey. I am 37weeks and 4 days today so having the baby now would be fine.
At the Doctors appointment I talked to the Doctor about my "birth plan". The look on her face when I said "birth plan" was priceless! It was a mixture of oh great and panic. My "birth plan" has six things on it so the Doctor was very pleased that I did not have tons of demands. She agreed to all of them except one. I did not want to be given pitocin after the birth if I did not have it before the birth. The Doctor explained to me that she is more comfortable with me having the pitocin after the birth so that I do not bleed out. At the birth class they said that the shot of pitocin is better than the bag but the Doctor said they the same strength. I will have an IV so I would rather have it in the bag then the nurse give me a shot in my leg that will hurt. I am really ok with what the Doctor wants to do, I trust her knowledge and experience. I still want to have a personal experience and I think I will. 

Am I on a roller coaster!?!

 I have done all my Hypnobirthing classes and I started listening to the CD that come with the program to help you relax. I know my hormones can be out of whack right now but twice this week all I wanted to do was cry all day and the other days I was so irritated about everything! I could see myself being upset but had no clue why I was feeling that way. I figured out it was the Hypnobirthing CD I had been listening to at night. No way right?!? On the CD the lady repeats over and over "your baby" and this is not my baby! A couple of times people have said to me that this is my baby and I remember getting upset because it is NOT! We are not genetically related. I am just baby sitting. I know what and why I am doing surrogacy and I want to give this little baby back to the parents with all my heart. I think the reason it upsets me so much is because some people do not understand that this what I am meant to do. I have stopped listening to the tapes and will have to find another relaxation CD to use. I have felt so much better since.  
 Other than that craziness I have been taking it easy. Thanks to my Mom2Mom group, friends, and family I have not made a full meal since I was first put on bed rest. I have warmed stuff up but I have not had to stand and make a meal. Another great thing about not cooking is not having to do DISHES!!! Yippy! I love cooking but dishes are my enemy! I am so thankful that I have been able to me on "light duty" as a Mom and still have my kids do mostly everything they normally do.
THANK YOU!!!! I appreciate all the support :-)